Today, I Checked

After carefully considering the weather conditions, I've decided to stay in Flagstaff for another day.

Bike Has a New Look

Once, when I was sailing on San Francisco Bay in some really bad weather, I looked out on the water and I noticed that mine was the only boat out there. A few minutes later, about a mile off in the general direction I was heading, a bolt of lightening struck the water. I put the first piece of information together with the second piece of information and was able to spot the trend towards and undesirable result. It's this kind of thinking, this ability to pick out the subtleties of a situation, that has allowed me to run a successful business. Today, I was able to, once again, connect the dots and adjust my plans to meet the challenges of the day.

I noticed that there where no other motorcycles out on the road today, unless I just missed them because they where buried in the sand drifts. I also noticed that I was having to lean my bike over sideways to make it go in a straight line. I also noticed, that after driving through the fifth one mile stretch of hard blowing sand, that I was actually getting sand inside my closed helmet and somehow into the crotch of my pants. I also noticed the dark clouds building in front of me in the shape of an anvil. I was also able to notice when a gust of wind tore the windshield right off my bike.

After pulling off the road and checking my shorts for accidents, I decided to head for the nearest town. I was on a Navajo reservation heading towards more of the same so I turned towards Flagstaff and left my windshield in the sand.

Failure is always a chain of intricately woven events. I thought about this while listening to the face shield on my helmet starting to crack and tear. I thought about how one thing leads to another and if you can prevent the first event in the chain, then you prevent all the events. I would have been happy to never learn that my helmet was poorly made and that would have never come up if I'd checked the weather before I left this morning.

When I arrived in Flagstaff, I was a little shaken. I was going to call my Mommy, but being a grown man, I pulled out my Platinum Card and called the number on the back instead. American Express arranged a nice hotel room for me and told me how to get there and that everything was going to be fine.

Here is the funny part: I've 'learned' the lesson about 'checking the weather' a few times already. Thinking about it now, almost every time I've gotten myself into serious voluntary trouble, it was weather related. For the record, here they are:

1) Gilligan impression in St. Vincent with Leigh, Les & Rachel
2) Scud running in the Bay Area while exceeding the Pilots Operating Handbook's demonstrated crosswind component with Leigh
3) Demonstration of the temperature's effect on take-off distance with Mom, Barbie and Whitney
4) Super-Speedy trip to the Farralon Islands by using maximum outgoing current with David
5) All-day mountain wave riding and rivet test at thirteen thousand feet without oxygen with Leigh

To this list I can now add:

5) High-speed tooless wind sheild removal demonstration with Leigh and Scarlet

The two things all these events have in common are: I was steering & I didn't check the weather.

My therapist, the one who ruthlessly abandoned me, always stressed that everything is linked to my childhood and my family of origin. Besides getting excited at the fact that my parents are to blame for everything, I've had to work at tying my adult tendencies to my early childhood development. Not to get too deep here, but I think I don't check the weather because I grew up in Southern California where we didn't have any.

Retreat

Did I say I had winds yesterday? I should have kept my pie hole shut. I guess I should have checked the weather first:

WIND ADVISORY

CHINLE VALLEY-CHUSKA MOUNTAINS AND DEFIANCE PLATEAU- LITTLE COLORADO RIVER VALLEY IN COCONINO COUNTY- LITTLE COLORADO RIVER VALLEY IN NAVAJO COUNTY- LITTLE COLORADO RIVER VALLEY IN APACHE COUNTY-BLACK MESA AREA- NORTHEAST PLATEAUS AND MESAS SOUTH OF HWY 264- INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...CANYON DE CHELLY... CHINLE...KAYENTA... WINDOW ROCK... GANADO...WUPATKI N.M....TUBA CITY... WINSLOW... HOLBROOK...SNOWFLAKE...ST. JOHNS...SPRINGERVILLE...NAVAJO N.M.... DILKON...KYKOTSMOVI 133 PM MST MON MAY 12 2008

AN APPROACHING LATE SEASON STORM SYSTEM WILL BRING SOUTHWEST WINDS OF 20 TO 35 MPH WITH WIND GUSTS FROM 45 TO 55 MPH TO NORTHERN ARIZONA THROUGH SUNSET THIS EVENING.

A WIND ADVISORY MEANS THAT SUSTAINED WINDS OF 30 TO 39 MPH...OR GUSTS FROM 40 TO 57 MPH...ARE EXPECTED. WINDS THIS STRONG CAN MAKE DRIVING DIFFICULT...ESPECIALLY FOR HIGH PROFILE VEHICLES. CONSIDER SECURING LOOSE BELONGINGS ON YOUR PROPERTY.

Nevada Plate Project

As I mentioned before, I've decided to give the 'Silver State' an opportunity to come up with a more fitting state motto to put on their license plates. I figured I would turn this over to you, my two readers, to work out the details. I'm just an idea guy but my follow through is really poor. To help us, I've procured a plate from a Historic Route 66 crap shop. I'm using photoshop, but if you don't have photoshop, there are plenty of prisoners in Nevada that we could ask to help us out.


And to get things going, I offer these:

Just Let Your Whores Get Cold

I made it to the Grand Canyon last night. 278 miles. I had an overwhelming urge to get out of Las Vegas, even if it meant breaking down somewhere else. That tells you how I felt about it after last night. I should really go back there with Jenny some day. We’d probably have a lot more fun. I was really worried about the bike when I left this morning. I wasn’t sure if the bike would even start or not. It started right up. I’m not saying I didn’t have problem yesterday, but I think I can sum them all up for you: I do not know what I’m doing.

Here is the breakdown:

1) Bike feeling mushy: As it turns out, the freeways in Vegas are all grooved. This causes the bike to drift from left to right. It’s disconcerting, but harmless. Last night, the combination of exhaustion, traffic, nighttime riding conditions and moronship all conspired to make me feel like the bike was handling poorly.

2) Stuck Throttle: It was fine in the morning. I recalled Dirk telling me, as I drove off, that my bike was new and new bikes have little problems. I guess this was one of them.

3) Excessive Heat: Yes, the bike was hot. But I had just driven over four-hundred miles through the desert. This, apparently, makes the bike hot.

4) Bike Smoking: See above comment regarding heat.

I’d already called Dirk and told him I was having problems and asked him to HELP me. I left a message because he wasn’t working on Mothers Day. Now I have to call back and tell him the problem I’m having is a lethal combination of lack of skill and knowledge.

Today, I just went easy on the bike. When she got hot, we just pulled over and had a smoke. Both of us. I had a lot of slow moving traffic, to bake my left leg in, on the way out of Nevada. There is a big dam between Nevada and Arizona and you have to cross it to get into or out of the state. There was a long line of people trying to get out today. I had to pull over three times in the two hours I spent crawling along towards the dam. I would just wait for the engine to stop sounding like popping corn and then I knew it was cooled off enough to go a little further.

Anyway, I had bigger things to worry about. It was really windy today. I didn’t’ mention it before, but the trip from Reno to Vegas consisted of a lot of wind. I was being blown around but I managed to deal with it. I have a special relationship with the wind. I understand wind. I understand the power of wind and the impact of wind on a moving object. I understand concepts such as ‘crosswind’ and ‘apparent wind’ like they where my best friends. After all, I’m a sailor and pilot. Wind is the thing that gives us the gift of ‘lift’ and a crosswind is the force that causes us to learn how to quickly calculate the difference between our magnetic compass heading and the magnetic heading of the apparent wind as we are flying one-hundred miles per hour about 10 feet of the ground. Wind: bring it on.

But today, I got my ass handed to me. It was windy and it was really gusty. I had a hard time controlling the bike. There where moments today when I thought about turning back. The unfortunate thing about turning back is that you would be turning back right into the thing that is causing you to want to turn back. I had a hard time keeping the bike in my lane. I was blown off the road and on to the shoulder. I had to lean the bike so far over to counter balance it against the wind that I felt like I was auditioning for Cirque du Soleil. On turns, the bike was being back-winded so badly that I was being blown back up-right and could not hold the radius of the turn. I learned a lot about riding bikes today. When I started out today, I had like four or five weeks of experience riding. Now it feels like I have a month.

After driving across the Hoover Dam, I crossed from Nevada to Arizona. I was done with Nevada so this suited me. A few days ago, when I crossed from California to Nevada, I noticed that to get into to California, you had to go through and inspection station. To get into the Nevada you just had to drive past the “Welcome to Nevada” sign. This made me a little embarrassed of California as if we where saying to Nevada that we where better than it. Having traveled through Nevada, I see why we have the checkpoint. If I where Nevada, I’d let anybody in. I’d let all the illegal aliens in that wanted to come. After all, we aren’t using it. When I passed from Nevada into to Arizona today, the tables where turned. It was the Arizonians that had to pass a checkpoint. I was feeling pretty low about this. What could be so bad that Nevada would want to keep it out?

Once in Arizona, I started riding past more openclosed signs, more caved in roofs and more dilapidated townettes. I was really bummed about it.

Everything turned out fine! Arizona is a nice place. I think, like a bad pair of Depends, there must have just been some seepage at the borders. Arizona’s solution to having so many tore up little towns by the side of the road was to just not have any towns. If you see a gas station in Arizona you need to take the opportunity to fill’er up.

For the first part of my trip, I didn’t stop much, other than the smoking breaks, because there was nothing to see. I did have to hit the breaks once and come back to get a closer look at this. I marked this as a way point on my GPS. I mean to ask Jenny if she’ll let me bring her daughter here so I can explain to her the realities of life. I’ve asked before but Jenny is really against me doing this. For me, Halie represents the only opportunity in my life to tell a child that there is no Santa. In Arizona, there where lots more big lots of sand for sale. There where so many too choose from! I’m not sure what the attraction would be. Maybe if I was a polygamist or possibly a dinosaur I’d see the charm.

For a while, I was driving on or near the ‘Historic Route 66”. The people around here are pretty proud of this road. At one point, I stopped to take a break and found myself in one of these Route 66 historic districts. There where a busload of tourists taking pictures of everything. I think they where Germans. The where walking around, even walking onto the highway, taking pictures of everything they perceived to be Route 66 related. I looked over and one of them was taking a picture of my bike as if it was a part of the giant town sized display. I tried to put my camera into action and take a picture of her taking a picture of my bike. Not fast enough. So I asked her if she would do it again. She didn’t speak English and did not understand. I tried to explain what I wanted but the closest I got was this picture of her posing with my bike. She then handed me her camera and wanted me to take a picture of her with my bike. One of the other tourist saw this and from that point, it was game on. More of them kept coming, handing me their camera, and posing with my bike. My bike is a modern Harley-Davidson and did not really go with the 50’s styling associated with Route 66. Didn’t matter. After the fifth person handed me a camera and then motioned as if to ask if they could climb on the bike, I was done. I put on my helmet and started pulling on the gloves. This caused a stir in the crowd. I was surrounded by tourists that where getting hungry for ‘the starting’. I didn’t want to disappoint to I made sure to add a few gratuitous twists of the throttle. I also took off a little fast and carved the bike on a deep turn to join the road. I thought about how I would ruin everyone’s good time if I crashed while showing off. All this Route 66 excitement got me to thinking about trying to find an atom box in one of these kitschy stores. With a little luck I was able to purchase two candidates.


This box is made out of a rock. It’s been put on some sort of lathe and carved from a single piece. I was attracted to this because I told Harriett I was making a rock box to bout Leigh’s atoms in. Maybe I could pass this off for something I made.

I also found this frog carrying a ladybug. I called Leigh “Ladybug” so this made me think of her. And I’m the frog carrying her on my back across the pond so she doesn’t get wet.



I mentioned that I like Arizona. After an hour or so of riding through the desert, I started to climb to higher ground. I got up into the pine trees and green grass meadows. This is my kind of place.

For me, two of the more thrilling living creatures in this world are the Bristlecone Pine Tree and the majestic Elk. Seeing either of these will surely make my week and maybe my year. Nevada has a few Bristlecone but I didn’t see any riding through. The Bristlecone is the oldest living thing on earth. Some of them are over 4,000 years old. That makes them older than the earth according to some bible scholars and the oldest known specimen still alive today was 2,600 years old at the time of Jesus’ birth. Looking at one of these trees is a transcendental experience. But, like I said, I didn’t see any on my trip. Probably because those reprobate Nevadans chopped them all up for firewood to keep their whores warm. But Arizona was promising Elk. In fact, they where out and out threatening me with them. I passed sign after sign warning me that Arizona had elk and I better keep vigilant. An Elk sighting would complete me.

Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day to New Wife and my Mom. I love you both. I'm sorry to have to mention, once again, that this Holiday was made up by the Hallmark Corporation so they could sell more cards so I don't feel too bad for not being there. I took this picture for you of me posing and staying cool in the desert.

Keep'em Crossed

Last night, I was thinking that I might be here for a while. What are the chances of me finding a mechanic on Sunday in Las Vegas? I tried calling Dirk but he's closed for Mother's Day and won't be in until Tuesday. But now with four hours of sleep in me and feeling refreshed, I have a new plan. I checked with Tripple A to make sure they will tow my bike if I need help and they said they would. I'm going to go out to the bike, start it up and drive off. If it starts smoking right away or the handling is really bad then I'll go to plan B. If it seems to be working, I'm heading to Flagstaff which is in the ball-park of plan A. I should be leaving at Noon and that should get me to Flagstaff at around 5PM. I mention this here, just in case you don't hear from me. I may have broken down on the way.