Fan Mail

Thanks for all the comments and emails. I don't have time to respond to all of them individually because I'm super busy entertaining myself with this blog. However, since there was so much repetition in the reader feedback I thought I'd answer those questions in this general blog entry.

1) Yes, I think death-wish can be hyphenated or not. Either way, I don't consider my trip to be one. While I do not fear the reaper, I do not intentionally seek him out or taunt him by making it known that his scythe will, at best, scratch the kevlar on my backup riding jacket.

2) No, it is not merely a rumor that my therapist recently abandoned me and moved to Hawaii because of something I probably said or probably my personality. I'm not insecure about this because I'm very strong, so they say all the time, and don't need her anymore but I would like her to take me back. No biggie though, whatever you want. I don't have another therapist because I don't NEED one and she was getting more out of it than ME people where saying. But if you know where she is, no biggie, maybe you could tell me but I don't care I mean or anything you know. No big deal though so whatever CLARISSA DAMMIT. Nice 'phoenix rising' on your business card. Like that is not cliche for a psychotherapist. Hope that didn't take you too long to come up with!! Phd in Marketing NOT! What Ever. Have a nice TAN in Hawaii. Not even WORKING probably. But I'm cool with it. Really miss you (a lot). Not good with change and loss. LOL! WTF!! Not cool.

3) And furthermore LARISSACAY AMMITZAY, the therapist you referred me to is so mad at you for leaving that all she does is talk about you which is WEIRD so even though she is really CHEAP compared to you it's not really WORTH IT because it's like I'm the therapist AGAIN. Not working!. NICE TRY THOUGH. Is it far to Hawaii and where do you live?

4) No, the fact that I do not have a return itinerary does not mean I'm not coming back Jenny. I will post one as soon as I'm on my way home.

5) No, I will not stop and give a shout-out to your friend while I'm traveling through Flagstaff.

6) Yes, I do think staying at the Bellagio is an important part of my soul seeking journey and yes I will bring you something from the gift shop as long as it will fit in my trunk.

7) Yes, the main reason is to save money on gas.

8) Yes, I do know that the new season of 'So You Think You Can Dance' will start while I'm gone and don't threaten me with the Tivo which is mine anyway because I probably had it BEFORE I met you so it doesn't even count towards your half so you are not in charge of it anyway.

9) I think 'don't spread Leigh's ashes prematurely on the highway' is an odd way to express your concern but I do understand your subtle meaning and I plan to take preventive actions using ducktape and other ballistic counter measures. lol. rofl. wtf. etc.

10) Yes I will miss you, except for The Farting, but I'm really glad that I'm doing this on my own. I'm pretty needy (shocker!) and could really grow personally by being by myself for like more than 90 seconds.

11) Hey, this isn't really an answer to a question I've made up but could you like make sure YOUR children stay out of MY office because I'm VERY important and I could have important papers or might have important information that may look like it's in a pile or messy but really it's there for a reason like I have a special way of stacking stuff and I don't expect you to be able to tell the difference between a stack of important person stuff and what goes to the SHREDDER but just keep them out for me because it's my office and they steal my pens and get footprints on my faxes that are waiting for my attention in the stacks I was just telling you about. And just because I'm not THERE to make sure, they should still not make a lot of NOISE near my office because they will think is ALRIGHT to dot it when I get BACK because they will be used to being LOUD while I'm working and you can't tell when I'm working and when I'm just reading SALON.COM or emailing my MOTHER but since you can't tell the difference just be quiet ALL THE TIME to ensure you are not bothering me if I'm doing important things or people need my input on things ALL THE TIME because I'm critical.

12) No, the t-shirt you got me that says "If you can read this, my bitch fell off" will not arrive on time for trip. "Where there is sin, I must follow" t-shirt arrived. All set for gear now.

13) No, Dirk is not the gnome from the Travelocity commercials and I did not photoshop him into the picture.